A Friend's Tribute to Joe Lole
I first met Joe Lole when I was about fifteen years old. I'm not certain, but I think we were playing football with some of the guys from the neighborhood. I didn't know then how much of a part of my life Joe would be in and the impact he would make.
Joe Lole was married and had two children and a ton of friends. I would see Joe from time to time, mostly because my brother Mike played guitar and Joe was banging on the drums whenever and wherever he could. He had a homemade tattoo of drumsticks on his arm and underneath it, it said, " Dazed Drummer." It's a reference coming from Led Zeppelin's Dazed and Confused. I guess he liked Bonzo's (John Bonham) style of playing. Who didn't back then? Joe didn't play like Bonham, though. His style was more or less a mix of Buddy Rich, country music and Tommy Lee. Joey had this terrific shuffle beat, where his shoulders would shrug up and down and he had these wonderful facial expressions. Plain and simple, Joe was just fun to watch!
After my short hitch in the Army and my return to Meriden, CT, I was hanging around with Joe and a band he played in called 4-Play. The band did classic rock tunes, a bunch of ZZ Top and some really cool stuff like Bridge of Sighs. The band was pretty good and other bands in need of a drummer were checking out Joe's skill and were very interested in him. 4-Play was the band I started learning about the music business with. I was a roadie. Most of my help was for Joe, because drums take a lot of time setting up and tearing down. Most of the time I didn't get paid, but I had a good time and there were always chicks around.
4-Play's time soon ended and Joe joined a Southern Rock band called The Whiskey River Band. The band's lead man was Tom McLear. Tom and I got along from the start and are friends to this day. The Whiskey River Band was playing out quite a bit and I was moving right in, first as a roadie, then I learned how to do light production (which I was very good at) and then I learned how to do live sound production. This time I was getting paid! The band was packing clubs and sometimes we did four gigs a week. We all had regular full-time jobs - forty hours or more. Sundays were for resting. The band was pretty tight, playing tunes such as 24 Hours at a Time, Green Grass and High Tides, Statesboro Blues - and their own tunes blending in nicely - most of the times closing out with a longer version of Free Bird than Lynyrd Skynyrd would do. People just love that song and I must say, the band could really smoke that one out! WRB released their CD, Northern Lights in the Southern Skies, in 1991. The first song on the CD is called "Fly Gypsy Fly." This is one of those songs that Joe would do that shuffle beat to that I mentioned earlier. The song was kind of Joe's in a sense. Joe was of Hungarian descent, and Hungarians are sometimes referred to as "Gypsies," because they were nomadic.
Things were going well for the band. We opened for Toy Caldwell, Molly Hatchet, Marshall Tucker Band, The Outlaws, The Radiators and our first show at Toad's Place in New Haven was with the Johnny Van Zant Band. Johnny is Ronny's (of the Lynyrd Skynyrd Band) little brother. Joe was always the professional. One time, he played while he had the flu and finally let this other drummer play - but only after he threw up and turned green. Joe is the main reason why I became a decent sound tech. I'm not the most technical sound tech, but I have a good ear and I would go to a lot of band practices. So, I would know who was doing a lead part on guitar. The band had two guitar players, keyboards, bass and drums. On some of the songs, Tom played harmonica. I had my ears and hands full! I have my own saying about doing sound: Drums and bass - and everything else falls into place. One of Joe's trademarks was popping the snare drum just when the band was getting ready to play. Usually Tom would jump out of his skin. He got me a few times, too!
By this time, my friendship with Joe was fairly close. After practice Joe, Tom and I would usually play a little basketball and then Joe and I would go get a beer at one of Meriden's local bars (dives, really). Practice was at Tom's house. Joe had his normal American struggles in life that a blue collar worker with a wife and two kids would have. Most of the time, you didn't know it. He would buy me a beer when I didn't have any money - which was a lot of the time back then. Joe was one of those guys who would give you the shirt off his back - as long as it wasn't a Celtics or Dolphins shirt. I could use all the clichés about how good a person Joe was, but I think you get the idea.
By 1991 and 1993, the band lost band members and the ride was getting a little bumpy. I was asked to step down from my position as sound tech and just do lights, which I declined. Part of the reason for this was economics and the other I don't care to remark on. After about one year, I returned and did sound at certain shows. This, again, was due to Joe and my increasing friendship with Tom. For a lot of the gigs, Joe and I would arrive together. I was going to ride with Joe to a gig in Middletown on the night before Thanksgiving Day. For some reason or another I decided not to go. I wasn't doing sound that night. I had no idea that I would never see Joe alive again. On Joe's way home to Waterbury, he had an accident. He went off the side of the highway and was ejected from the vehicle and suffered massive head trauma. Joe was put on life support at St. Francis Hospital in Hartford. I went to the hospital on Thanksgiving Day night. I learned of Joe's accident at the traditional football game in Meriden. I couldn't believe what I heard. I will never forget Thanksgiving Day of 1993. Seeing Joe lie there, I felt so hurt and so many emotions ran through my body. When I came out of the room I punched a concrete pillar, got really mad, started crying and hugged Tom. Joe's wife, Gretchen, made the tough decision of taking Joe off life support, which I believe was two days later. Hundreds of people would come to his wake and funeral.
The thing that messes with my mind to this day is that I should have been with Joe that night. Maybe I could have done something or maybe I would have been killed too. So, maybe you are thinking: What is this guy getting at? Well, I'll tell you. Bad things happen to good people for no apparent reason. I know I'm not the only one who knows this, but I just needed to tell you. Joe didn't have his seat belt on that night. The police say he had a 90% chance of making it alive if he did. I know a lot of you out there don't like to wear your seat belts, but think of your loved ones and you might change your minds. I'm sure they want to see you home safe and in one piece. So, wear your belts people! I miss my friend dearly. There were so many things we should have gotten to do. We loved to play basketball, volleyball, going to a park or whatever. I truly miss doing these things with Joey. After Joe's death, music wasn't the same for me.
Joe died almost seven years ago. Tom has the band going still, sounding good. The song "Fly Gypsy Fly" is now dedicated to Joe whenever it is played. I think Joe would be proud of Tom McLear and Greg Johnson (pianist, vocals, and flute player) for their professionalism and tenacity they endured under such adversity with the comings and goings of different musicians, and the unwillingness to give up when others would (and have). I, too, admire them both for these qualities - which you don't see too often in this life.
And to Joey, I say: I am your friend forever. When my time comes and we meet again, I know you will greet me with open arms.
Frank (Franco Bolo) Perry
(Friend of the Band)
August 2000